Tlanslation: Svyatoslav Albireo
— An assassination attempt, again, — said Emperor routinely. – When will you get tired of it?
— Never — while you are alive — never, — gloomily muttered Imperial Personal Existence Poisoner.
— It’s useless. I know whom I’m dealing with, since when I trusted you this responsible position …
— I did not ask for it!
— … The position, but not my life. The Caring about my safety, I trust completely different people, and they know how to do their job. You are under surveillance around the clock. Everywhere.
— Better kill me…
— I cannot. You’re too valuable.
— Then you can’t complain about the assassination attempts. I’ll keep trying unless one of us will be bones.
— Well, — sighed the Emperor. – It is impossible, to wait for a man to be the only dignity. I hope, someday you’ll understand why you’re here, and you will start to spend more time on your duties, than conspiracy.
— I do owe you nothing! — growled his conversationalist. — I am dragged here against my will, without any chance to go out of here, moreover I am watched hourly. Also, this position is a real hazing. My comrades think I sold the regime out!
— You have to keep patience. Get it right, at last, you are in the right place here. There is the full palace of people who are ready to lick my boots or die for me. The foundation of power. It is inevitable.
The Emperor, who was hitherto strolling side by side with his conversationalist, suddenly turned to him and glared into his eyes. He felt a rush of inspiration. By some reasons, he was sure, this time he will succeed, he will find the right words and explain, finally, what this gloomy man refused to understand during several months.
— Just imagine, — he raised his voice, — I have to make decisions in such situation! Decide the fate of the State! Without a word of a constructive criticism! — he almost shouted. — I’m not perfect, and my mistakes cost much.
They, — he waved his hand to point the void behind him — hate me, too. But in silence. Silently! They have something to lose. You too, but you do not care. You speak your mind and do what you think is right. Sometimes it is difficult to endure, but it allows me to look at the problem from a different side and avoid some mistakes. That’s why the Emperor needs Personal Existence Poisoner. It is not for myself — I am asking for the State, can you understand me?
— That is, firstly, you destroyed the opposition, and then you shed crocodile tears, talking about the benefits of dissent?
— Oh, no! You shouldn’t confuse the mess at the highest levels and the existence of the personal pain in the august ass. An un-monolithic authority is inefficient!
— That’s why I do not want to serve the State, which is called Empire.
— But you still serve, — Emperor smiled slyly.
— I hate you!
— Mutually! So, I’ve got a draft law here…